I just want to be…

A song came on yesterday which took my back to being 19 years old. It’s funny how music reminds you of places/times/people/feelings…

In that flash back to being 19 years old, for a moment, I wished I was back there. I was at Uni in Canberra living with friends. They were fun days. I had no idea what I was really doing with the Uni, and I had no money and no direction. When I look back, Uni at 19 was far too young! Who knows what they want to do with their life at 19???

Anyway, at 19 I just lived day to day. I wanted to finish Uni and get a job. I didn’t care about money. I didn’t care about a house. I just wanted to listen to music and wake up each day wondering what I was going to do later that night. I hated food shopping. I only did it for survival. I drank too much and smoked. I could make mistakes and not care about them. I wasn’t locked in to anything. I only answered to myself…

They sound like good days when I write them down don’t they?

BUT, then yesterday I was reading the Sunday Life Mag (the lift-out in the Sun-Herald) and Meshel Laurie had written a piece titled The Age of Liberty. Did you happen to read it? Oh it was good. It was a reality check and it was a sign that getting older is so much better than wanting to be 19 again. And she’s bloody right. “Stop looking back through rose-tinted glasses and get on with growing old with gusto…” That’s what Meshel said. “I spent my entire youth waiting. Waiting to grow up, waiting to leave that country town, waiting for a boyfriend, waiting to see if my career would take off, waiting to get paid, waiting for the right time to have kids. Goodbye waiting.” Oh, that was good. You must read it if you can. It’s true, we’ve got to stop waiting and wishing the years away. It was like I was 19 years old one day and then I woke up 37. Time is moving so fast and I don’t want to spend the years waiting for things.

Also in the magazine was another article titled Warrior Women. It’s about breast cancer survivors and how they took their experiences and turned them in to life changing empowerment. One woman said “looking back to my pre-cancer life, I think, ‘What a waste.’ I was functioning on autopilot. But every day now I wake up and live my life with purpose.” My friend Bec (who has breast cancer)  has talked to me about this before. She looks back to before and realises she too was on auto-pilot. Bec doesn’t want to go back to monotony, she’s embraced the preciousness of the here and now.

So, here I am reflecting and thinking and hoping that as you read along something might trigger for you too. Don’t look back. Don’t wish to be young again. Embrace the right-now. Don’t waste a second. Feel good about getting older and wake up each wondering about what you’ll do TODAY to make your cup so full it will be spilling over. Today I just want to be right where I am. Nowhere else, but looking forward and happy to be getting older.

Deep thoughts for a Monday hey? LOL. Have a good day. ♥ KC.