I ran in to my old day-care-mum last week. I haven't seen her in a while and we were chatting to each other about the kids. Her girls are all grown up and have left home (they were in high school when my boys used to be in her care). It's nice to see someone …
I ran in to my old day-care-mum last week. I haven’t seen her in a while and we were chatting to each other about the kids. Her girls are all grown up and have left home (they were in high school when my boys used to be in her care). It’s nice to see someone who, at that time in your life, you really relied on and trusted. All 3 of my boys were in her care when they were little and I was trying to work. She was really important to me as I have never had any relatives around to help me while I worked. I always had to pay for day care.
I started to reminisce on my way home after seeing her. I shook my head and thought they were the toughest days ever. They were really hard… on so many levels. Little kids, trying to work, still breastfeeding… yep that was me. I feel stressed just thinking about those days. I had to work. We needed the money, but I had 3 small kids. I remember even calling in to her house at lunch times so I could breastfeed. In hindsight that was crazy. I’m not saying it was wrong because I know so many women do it, but at that time I remember juggling so many balls and I remember being so unhappy about it all.
I don’t think I truly enjoyed those early days with a brand new baby and 2 toddlers. I much prefer the age my kids are now. Some women love babies – I love school aged kids. But I was so young back then when I had them in daycare. I was in my 20’s with 3 kids and it was mayhem. We had a new mortgage, a business and I paid about $360 a week (it’s gone up since then too!) in day care. Gulp! I know some of you are doing that exact thing right now… We just make it work though don’t we? We just do what we have to do to get through?
But, it gets better doesn’t it? If you’re in that daycare zone now, I promise it gets a little easier. I looked over old photos last night of when the kids were little. They were so cute. I was barely in any photos, but when I was, I could see I was so unsure about myself. I am reading your blogs and you have 2 year olds and 4 year olds and you’re having days which never end. There’s never a moment to yourself. BUT it will get better.
I’m glad my days aren’t that tough any more. I’m grateful we came out of those early days unscathed… onwards and upwards!
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Comments
Jacq Coe
Hi Trin, I have got another job and been given the opportunity to work from home. I had Mia booked into care 5 days a week and the thought made my nights very sleepless, someone else I didn’t know with my baby.. I’m going to try her at home and see how it goes. But I have to say I got my account for the two girls for 3 days and it was $575 per week.. I nearly fell off my chair, how do people do if?? Loads of hugs xx
Katrina
Oh I’m glad you get to work from home now Jac! Text me and tell me all about it 🙂 XX
Carlie Glynn
So totally true!!! In that same very boat now!
Trish Fellows
This is so me. If I could have had children aged 4 from birth I would have had ten! The Primary School years were definitely my favorite! Secondary school for me brought a whole different set of challenges and pressures; and now I’m a brand new Empty Nester – and that too has it’s ups and downs. I think we just embrace each phase; but I did love the Primary years!
Lisa Toole
Love reading your words. I’ve been lucky enough to stay at home. But its meant we still don’t own a house or can achieve any personal goals. I’m so happy to say I’ve raised my three with zero help. It’s such a heart wrenching decision and I admire those who can pull it off. Working and raising small children. I’m looking forward to the years ahead as my youngest heads to big school next year. As you say, onwards and upwards. X
Kristin-lee Campbell
Oh my thanks Katrina i needed to read that tonight! We have an amazing sitter for our kids away from daycare and she is just a godsend I look back on photos now and think where has it gone it’s such a blur but I am looking forward to the 3 being at school and being past nappies and daycare and tantrums! Maybe then I can shower or go to the bathroom in piece 😉
Priscilla Fitzgerald
I’m hearing you! I’ve had kids in day care for 13 years and the twins start school next year. I am hoping things settle down a bit for me then (and we will be soooo much better off financially!)
Malinda Lange
I have 7 kids and 30wks with number 8. It’s hard but all worth it ( hopefully lol). My kids are 10 8 7 4 3 2 and 11mths.
Katrina
You are busy, but I bet it’s beautiful and fun with never a dull moment!
Robyn
Lovely to know it gets easier! I’ve just got one little one at home now and it’s much easier than two years ago when I had all three at home. I really I can enjoy them all so much more. Thanks for sharing xx
Katrina Chambers
We do look back and wonder how on earth we did that! Glad some of it is behind me now. Love seeing my boys grow up – they’re so much fun at the moment. XX
Alice
I wonder how I managed too. Working full time, new mortgage, 2 kiddos in care (private nanny, long daycare plus family daycare depending upon which day of the week it was). We were spending around $20k a year on day care! I doubted myself as a good mum frequently. Now they’re 10 and 8, happy, healthy and well – adjusted kids. We use OOSH but maybe next year we won’t, depending upon maturity. i do still get the guilts, but not as often now.
Karen
I’m right in the middle of that time now with my 2 year old Katrina – and I only have one child but I still find it hard most days! I can only marvel at the families that do it with more than one child! For me it’s the constant soul searching – am I doing this right? Am I spending enough time with her? Am I spending the right kind of time with her? Arghhhh!! It just goes round and round doesn’t it? But I have to say I am enjoying the two year stage MUCH more than the two month stage!
Melissa Clark
So glad I read this… Much needed words at the moment, thank you
Alana Higgins
Katrina what a beautiful honest post! I have a 3 yr old, 1 yr old and a new baby arriving in November and I’m wondering how the hell im going to do it!! I am one of the ‘lucky’ ones that gets to work from home in our own business but i feel very guilty (in fleeting moments when i do get to use my brain!) as i don’t get to leave the house and work and earn my own money and have my own independence. Im very fortunate that my husband is so very supportive and we worked our butts off prior to having the kids that we are in a fair position financially so I’m not complaining but i think no matter which way you look at it at times the grass can always look greener when we are having a bad day!!! Thanks for keeping it real and bringing home a reminder that it might be tough but we should enjoy it! x
dee
Such a great post. There have been words passed onto me as we have grown. One lady stopped me while I was juggling 2 toddlers and a newborn in the shops and told me “you dont realise it now, but your in the best moments of your life right now”. I thought “really?” And I remember it because sometimes it gets me through and reminds me to slow down. Another friend told me after I had my 4th and having 2 boisterous primary aged boys “it doesnt get easier, it just gets different. A different worry, a different pleasure.” I find those words true too. Thanks for the post. Its nice to relate and to hear about “the other side”, especially while im half in it and half out of it.
Susan Blesing
Certainly struck a chord with me today 😉 Even though we have many years between us, the struggle in those early years juggling work and family is oh so familiar. Argh…and the breast feeding whilst trying to commit to a work day…difficult, to say the least. A relocation interstate and no family or network of friends, for us was tough. At the time you wonder how you will manage to get through another week, but you do…and another and another one after that, until things become a little more manageable. Then once those early years have been accomplished you move onto the next phase. Yes, we can all relate…however hats off to you and everyone else responsible for two or more little people in your lives…you’re all marvels in my eyes. Great reading…it’s always reassuring to know there are many in the same boat…so to speak x
A
This post has such perfect timing, thanks so much for posting it today 🙂 I work full time, study part time and have a 3 year old in daycare 5 days a week. Every morning I have to make a huge effort not to think about how guilty I feel as I get her ready to spend the whole day with someone else and how much I’d love to spend every second I can with her. But we do what we have to do and one day it’ll all be worth it. Studying part time is nearly making me loose my marbles but I’m hoping once I finish I’ll be able to work from home and be available for school pick up/drop offs. In the meant time I’m ‘faking it till I make it” . pretend to be a fully functioning working parent and make sure I save my daycare drop off tears for the car, behind sunnies. My daughter spends the week in daycare, sometimes we eat toasted sandwiches for dinner and sometimes I run out of time and am washing her clothes at 11pm but she knows she’s loved, she has what she needs and she has our 100% attention when we’re together. And every time someone who’s been down the same road tells me it gets easier I feel encouraged that I’m doing ok
Kate Vekaci
I hope you’re right…
Peta Howe
Wow Katrina look at all the responses! It has been my lunch time reading. I am a stay at home mum my boys are 7 and 3 and I must say before I had children I thought how easy these mothers had it… boy was I wrong! I am lucky enough that I haven’t gone back to work since my first boy was born but some days I wish I was a work just to escape and be me not just a mum! I find sometimes when people ask me what kind of work I do and I say I’m a stay at home mum they look at me and say you’ve got it easy and it really bugs me I would never say to them you are a working mum you have it easy. Everybody’s situation is different and I do commend the working mothers that juggle both work and being a parent. I’m not a baby person I enjoy them more as they get older but I guess each age has different challenges. I think being a parent is the most rewarding, emotional and hardest job in the world but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Nicole Prior
I can totally relate to this now…love reading your blog 🙂
Lucy
I’m still at that stage!! My youngest is 3 1/2, so I have another 18 months until he’s due to start school. We’ve tried the work/home thing in many different ways since our eldest was born 11 years ago. Currently I’m home full time and have recently said no to a couple of communications contracts. I think if I’m going to do paid work now, it will have to be something regular so Jono can go to daycare. It’s too hard to work properly and meet deadlines when I’m trying to supervise a very busy little (but adorable) boy.