We’re battling with a teen who gets sooooo homesick and anxious. He never wants to sleep anywhere or go far from home. This is not a bad thing, just hard to help him through it! But I was the same when I was his age. I was terrible. No sleepovers for me either. The parents would be calling my Mum to come and get me.
When I was 15 my Mum and Dad said I had to sit some exams to see if I could win a scholarship to boarding school in Bathurst. I did do that, and I won the scholarship, so when I had just turned 16 they shipped me off (6 hours away from where Mum and Dad were). I wanted to go, I remember that, but I was awfully homesick. I cried every day for the first 3 terms. I hated my Mum and I desperately wanted to go home. It didn’t help that I’d left a boyfriend behind and I wanted to go back. I pined and cried and sobbed in bed every single night. It was torture.
Then around term 4, I started to settle down in to the boarding school routine and had some lovely friends (and I was keen on a new boy!). The next 18 months were enjoyable and in hindsight I left that school loving every thing about it. I moved straight from school to University in Canberra and lived with one of my boarding school friends (we still text all the time). So I’ve been away from my Mum and Dad and never lived in the same town/house as them since I was 16.
But I will never forget that homesick and anxious feeling. When you just need to get yourself out of wherever you are, and back to your own house/routine. It happened to me a few times when I was on The Block. I got terribly homesick there too. But I know, as an adult, you can push through it and everything will end up ok.
My big boy is also the same. He will be 14 soon and he hates being away from home. He’ll avoid a sleepover and hates school excursions. There is only one house he will stay at and that’s his cousins.
A few months ago he had to stay with an AFL team for a rep carnival for 4 nights. It was the most horrendous experience of our lives and the poor kid is still really struggling emotionally from events (let’s just say – kids can be cruel) that happened on that trip. I’m still struggling to get my head around it too. So since then, I feel like my big boy has gone backwards a bit, and his homesickness/anxiousness is worse than ever.
Two nights ago I had to go and pick him up from a party/sleepover. He was texting me and ringing me to come and get him. He was a little nervous heading there in the first place, but it was with his good mates and he seemed not too bad when we were driving there. Come nightfall different story!
I got a bit angry because I wondered if he was just being silly, but then when I saw his little face I just knew he wasn’t ok. We drove home in the dark and he said he just doesn’t feel well when it gets to the night time and he’d rather be with me. I joked and said he’ll live with me until he’s 30! I was telling my Mum about it last night, and she said I need to lap it up because in 12 months he’ll be turning 15 and probably have a girlfriend and I’ll be 2nd best. True!
He’s not embarrassed about it either. He doesn’t seem to care too much. He is a sensitive kid and tells me everything, but he isn’t a sook. So he said if anyone says anything about him not being able to do the sleepover he’ll “knock their head off!” I burst out laughing. Ok, Mr Tough Guy.
I’ve told him it doesn’t matter if you’d rather be at home. If that’s your weakness, then that’s a pretty ok weakness to have. He’s a good kid. I just hope he’s still not living with me when he’s a full grown adult 😉
Did you get homesick when you were a kid? Or do your own kids get homesick?